5 Steps To Gain Clarity When Life is Falling Apart — Taming Frenzy

7 min readFeb 26, 2024

When our life feels like it’s falling apart is often when we find ourselves most in need of our ability to gain clarity. However, this is often the time when that ability feels out of reach.

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my full disclosure policy for details.

Clarity Goes Out The Window When Life Feels Out Of Control

Ever felt like your life was just a total dumpster fire and you didn’t know what to do about it?

Most of us have been there at some point or another…and it’s not a fun place to be.

But very few of us get through life without experiencing some bumps in the road: some failures, some crises, and some tragedies. Unfortunately, those things are simply a part of life we all get to deal with at some point or another.

When these things happen, we feel confused, overwhelmed, frustrated, uncertain, and/or fearful. Life isn’t good when this is our reality. It’s also hard to have clarity about our lives, our future, and our purpose when we’re in this state. But clarity is what we need most because it’s what will help us move forward…and out of the our current chaos.

Common Causes Of Overwhelm

When we feel like our life is falling apart it can probably be attributed to one of several causes:

Family issues
Relationship issues
Career issues
Financial issues
Scheduling issues (too much to do)

Often when we feel like our life is falling apart, we don’t think we have the time or bandwidth to regain clarity. That feels like a luxury we don’t have because other things are so urgently important and need our attention. Taking time to reflect feels impossible because our default mode tends to be a panic state.

Unfortunately, no one operates well or functions efficiently when they’re in a panic state.

When your life is falling apart and you feel like you’re in a panic or frenzied state, you feel like you don’t have time to take on even one more thing. Taking any time at all feels like one more problem or thing to think about feels like the straw that’s going to break you.

However, when you feel like this, that’s a sign that you can’t afford NOT to take some time to figure things out.

So how do you take time when you’re already overstretched, overwhelmed, and over-committed?

Five Minute Relaxers to Help You Gain Clarity

The first step is to find ways to relax.

To do this, you start small.

If it means you take just 5 minutes here and there, that’s what you do. (saying: “you have to slow down to speed up” means you have to take stock to figure out what’s wrong so you can fix it — then you can “speed up” once you have a remedy)

You may need to take 5 minutes to:

take a quick walk
step outside for some sunshine and fresh air
listen to some calming music
close your eyes and chill out
lay down in a dark room
writing in a journal
play a game of solitaire
do some stretches or other physical movement
draw or doodle
do a brain dump

Now to be honest, five minutes isn’t going to solve everything. But any steps you take to start calming the panic, frenzy, and overwhelm you’re dealing with is a good start. And sometimes five minutes can give you enough perspective to continue dealing with the problems until you can find a solution.

Here are some more easy relaxation techniques.

Identifying Problems Helps Us Regain Clarity

Sometimes the problem is vague and unclear. Other times we’re acutely aware of what’s wrong.

Frankly, it’s easier if you’re clear about the cause of the problem. Because once you’ve got an identified problem, you can take steps to solve it.

However, a problem that’s unclear is difficult to solve. Therefore, those relaxation techniques will first help us by enabling us to figure out exactly what’s wrong.

Once we know that, it’s a matter of determining the solution.

Our Calendars Are Often The Problem

The second step is to evaluate our schedules.

I’ve talked before about how busyness is too often seen as a badge of honor and that too many of become addicted to busyness.

I don’t think this is a good thing even though it seems to be rampant in our society.

Instead, I think that it’s important to purposely slow down.

Often, we’re overwhelmed and it’s because we’ve let our schedule get out of control. We’ve taken on too many activities, too many appointments, and too many obligations.

And let’s just be honest with ourselves…we often take on too much as a way to feel validated or to fill some void in our lives.

I have known people — heck, I’ve BEEN one of those people — who does exactly this.

I have too often taken on too many things because I felt bored, insecure, or because I needed something to make me feel needed and important.

There…I’ve admitted it.

Perhaps this sounds more familiar than you’d like.

The problem with this is that a life that’s stuffed too full is often a life that is lived at warp speed because we’d rather not examine the reasons we’re taking on so much. And at some point we end up feeling overwhelmed, like we’re drowning in responsibility, and wondering where things got off track.

Taking a cold hard look at our calendars and schedules can help us determine if this is the cause of our overwhelm and if it is, we can take steps to start paring down.

Just because we’ve done something in the past doesn’t mean we have to keep doing it forever.

Roles, activities, and obligations are allowed to change and evolve as our life situations change. And no one is going to die if you bow out of something (even if they try to make you feel like they will!).

Ask yourself:

Is this something I really need to do?
Can someone else do it instead?
Can these things be done later?
Does this need to be done at all?

Spend Time Alone With Yourself

Many of us find that it’s hard to gain clarity when we’re constantly surrounded by other people.

Now I’m not suggesting that you abandon anyone. But being able to spend time without other people around gives you the opportunity to clear your mind without being distracted by the presence…or demands…or others.

Sometimes turning everything off (and I mean everything!) gives us the mental space for solutions to come to us. Our brain needs space to do its best work and it’s hard for that to happen when life is crowded, when people are constantly wanting something from us, and when we’re constantly on the go.

There ARE times when it’s good for us to engage in solitary activities like reading a book or listening to a podcast. Those times can be good for our soul. But it’s also beneficial to have some time without any distractions, to just let your mind wander.

I feat that too many of us are afraid of spending time alone with ourselves so we don’t do it.

Talk To Someone You Trust

Another way to gain clarity is to talk to someone you trust.

But a word of caution here — use discretion in who you choose to confide in.

You want to choose someone who is truly on your side. Who does not have any hidden agendas and who honestly has your best interests at heart.

Sometimes you need someone who will just listen, other times you may need someone who can ask good questions to help you figure things out.

Determine One Thing That You Can Control

When everything else is falling apart, it’s good to find ONE thing that you can still control. It doesn’t matter how small it is, realizing that you’re still in control of some things can help us deal with a lot of other frustrations.

Being reminded that we’re not totally at the mercy of fate can help us realize that we have more power than we often think. We’re not just a feather that is blown about by the wind.

And when you find that one thing you’ve got control over, exercise that control!

And then find another thing you control.

Each little act helps move us towards greater clarity and self-efficacy. Feeling in control encourages us to take active steps towards clarity and even greater control.

Conclusion:

We don’t have to continue feeling out of control and overwhelmed. When life feels that it’s totally unmanageable, we do have options. And each step we take to gain clarity and get back on track is a step in the right direction.

We’ll be happier, less frustrated, and more content once we’ve taken the time and steps necessary to gain clarity so we can move forward.

Positive affirmations can give us inspiration and motivation when we need it. Get your copy of 25 Positive Affirmations to Help You Break Out of Your Comfort Zone today.

Originally published at https://tamingfrenzy.com on February 26, 2024.