Lack Of Clarity In Life: Do you know the signs? — Taming Frenzy
When you have a lack of clarity in life it seems that everything is harder.
Making decisions is more difficult. Feeling confident in your choices is harder. And you may find yourself paralyzed because you just aren’t sure where life is supposed to take you.
Clarity on the other hand, makes life easier. It helps us achieve goals, It helps us know what to do next. And it helps us stay motivated and focused.
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The Most Together Woman I Ever Knew
Perhaps you’ve known someone like this in the past:
- They get up each morning with a clear picture of what they need to accomplish
- They’ve got a clear vision of what they’re supposed to do, accomplish, and be in this life
- They don’t waste time second-guessing themselves or doubting their decisions
- They don’t have trouble making directions because they’re clear about their values and priorities
- They just seemed to have it ALL FIGURED OUT!
I have only known one person who seemed to have it all figured out. I’ll call her “EL” and she’s someone I knew many years ago for a short time.
Now, when I knew EL my life was a total mess.
I was in a new job. We were in a new town. Our kids were young and any family support was hours away. I was totally overwhelmed and frustrated.
EL, on the other hand, was always calm, cool and collected. Nothing seemed to ruffle her feathers and when things were chaotic or topsy-turvy at work, she was always the epitome of “this too shall pass” thinking.
She was a woman who knew who she was, knew what she stood for, was clear in her values, and just so totally together in a way that few people are.
To say I admired her is an understatement.
Now, I only knew her for a couple of years and after we moved again we eventually lost touch. But I’ve always wondered if she remained as clear and focused as she was during the time I knew her.
I’ve always believed that she has because her clarity of purpose and sense of self was so strong it’s hard to imagine it faltering.
But most of us go through some periods when we’re lacking — or seem to have lost — clarity. Things aren’t clear any more. We’re unsure what to do or what moves to make. Generally, lack of clarity makes us feel like a jumbled up mess.
Perhaps you’ve been going through a rough patch lately and haven’t been sure why. Things that used to seem easy (or relatively easy) have become difficult and you’ve begun wondering if there’s something wrong with you.
There probably isn’t (although I’m not a doctor and I cannot diagnose anything). What you’re most likely experiencing is a lack of clarity in life, but that’s something that can be remedied.
So how do you know if you’re suffering from a lack of clarity? Below are some signs.
You feel confused and muddled
The most obvious sign that you lack clarity in life is that you feel confused and like you need to make a change. And even worse, you may not know why you’re confused.
You just know that your life seems to be totally out of whack and you’re unsure why or what to do about it.
If that sounds familiar then you’re likely finding it difficult to make even small decisions and when you do, you end up second guessing yourself, or constantly changing your mind.
Doing this, of course, just makes you more frustrated with yourself because you feel like you can’t commit to a choice. Others likely get frustrated with you because they don’t know what to expect…you’re inconsistent.
But when we’re feeling confused and muddled, it’s hard to figure out what to do next. Finding the clarity we need to formulate a path forward feels almost impossible because we’re not sure how to start.
Or perhaps we do start down a path only to change our minds and then start down a different one. Picture a writer who keeps starting something, doesn’t like it, rips the page out of a notebook and throws it on the floor. Eventually the floor is so cluttered with crumpled pieces of paper that everything has to be gathered up for the trash and a new page started.
I know I’ve felt like this at points in my own life. Perhaps you have too.
It makes it hard to trust yourself. And when you don’t trust yourself to make decisions, you end up easily swayed by what you see or hear others doing. The opinions of others end up becoming more important and trusted than your own…even though they’re likely not privy to your internal desires, goals, and dreams.
Making decisions based on the opinions of others frequently leads us to a place of unhappiness because we’re not making choices and decisions that come from our authentic self.
You’re Experiencing Negative Emotions
Our emotions are barometers of how we’re doing in life. Your emotions are signals your body sends you about things going on that you may not consciously be aware of.
Sometimes, our lives are going the wrong way or we’re on the wrong path, but we haven’t admitted it to ourselves.
Sometimes we have so much invested in a particular path or choice that admitting we’ve made the wrong one is nearly impossible. Especially when other people will be impacted by our admission. It can be hard to give up some things in order to create a life we want.
So instead we go on denying what our emotions are trying to tell us. We suppress our feelings and then wonder where all of these negative emotions came from.
Unfortunately, unless you get to the root of where these emotions are coming from and start asking some questions, they’re going to keep pestering you until you do.
Negative emotions do more than just make us feel bad.
It’s been proven that emotions impact the body, and that the body impacts our emotions. Continuing to deny or deal with the negative emotions is going to take a toll on your body…eventually, anyway.
You may get headaches or stomach aches. You may feel listless and have no energy. You may even find yourself more susceptible to disease. If you’ve been experiencing symptoms you can’t explain you might want to consider examining your emotions.
Have you been feeling?
If so, taking some time to get to the root of the emotion is going to be worthwhile.
Once you’re determined why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, then you can begin to create a plan to deal with the emotions and to move past them.
Lack of motivation
All of the negative emotions mentioned above can totally sabotage your efforts to get things done or to spend the time figuring out what path to take.
You’ve no doubt noticed that when you aren’t sure what to do next, that it’s hard to work up the gumption to do much of anything at all.
When you’re uninspired and have a “what’s the point?” attitude, it’s hard to work up any enthusiasm or motivation to buckle down and get to work.
But this leads to a self-defeating cycle.
You aren’t motivated so you DON’T work, then you are frustrated because you aren’t seeing results, so your motivation drops even further.
Or perhaps you end up in a yo-yo work pattern. This is where you work one day, then the next day you’re disheartened and so you sit on the couch and watch TV. You then feel begin to feel defeated at your lack or progress and your work becomes inconsistent.
This pattern simply creates more negative emotions and makes it harder to find our way out of the fog we’re in. Or you become so overwhelmed and burned out that you totally give up.
You’re engaging in negative self-talk
With all of these emotions going on and your lack of forward movement, it’s natural that your internal critic has begun whispering negative things in your ear.
Things like:
- “You’re such a loser!”
- “You’re totally pathetic!”
- “You’ll never figure this out!
- “Here you go again!”
- “What is wrong with you that you can’t figure this out?”
Negative self talk gets you nowhere. It makes you feel bad about yourself, and honestly, it preys on every bad feeling you’ve ever had about yourself.
But all of those things that are being whispered in your ear…they’re all lies.
And here’s how I know they’re lies: they are extremist statements that deal in absolutes. They’re statements that reflect black and white thinking.
None of us are are totally one thing or another. We’re all complex human beings who are a mixture of good and bad, competence and confusion, and power and fear.
Any statement or belief that tries to paint you as totally one thing or another is deceptive because you’re more complicated than that.
Have you made mistakes? Probably. It’s hard to get through life without making at least a few.
Have you made some poor choices? Most likely. Everyone seems to at one point or another.
Could you have done better in some situation or another? Probably.
But here’s the thing…we are all doing the best we can at any particular time. Making mistakes and getting things wrong is just part of life.
To quote Maya Angelou…
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Ignoring those negative voices in our head can be hard, but one thing that I think helps is to give the voice a name.
I did a video about this topic several years ago:
This video contains information about different types of feedback and how to differentiate between them. I think you’ll find it helpful.
Conclusion:
When you’re feeling confused, frustrated, and unsure about what path you should be on, it’s worthwhile to take some time to figure it out.
There are many reasons why it’s important to bring clarity in your life including making better decisions, increasing our productivity, and greater life satisfaction and happiness.
I still remember my friend E.L. and despite the years that have gone by, she’s still an inspiration. Living up to her ideal would be an amazing accomplishment.
Here’s a series of books to help you gain clarity about different aspects of your life. This link is to the entire set, but you can read individual titles for free if you’ve got a subscription to Kindle Unlimited (I love my subscription!).
Positive affirmations can give us inspiration and motivation when we need it. Get your copy of 25 Positive Affirmations to Help You Break Out of Your Comfort Zone today.
Originally published at https://tamingfrenzy.com on February 12, 2024.
