Things You Can Do Right Now To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone — Taming Frenzy

First off, I just want to say that if you’re struggling to get out of your comfort zone you’re not alone. Leaving the familiar and taking a risk of any kind takes guts, requires courage, and forces you to do something unfamiliar. Here are four things you can do today that will help you get out of your comfort zone.

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my full disclosure policy for details.

I’ve talked a fair amount about comfort zones here on the blog and over on my YouTube channel. And I’m the first to admit that I’ve been known to cling to my own personal comfort zones for much too long.

For example. I remained at one building longer than I should have because I liked my colleagues when what I really wanted to do was teach at a lower grade level.

In another situation I chose the easy path that satisfied some other people in my life rather than going for what I truly wanted.

But I’m not here to beat myself up. We’ve all been there and if we’re honest with ourselves we’ve all made choices based on comfort instead of working up the courage to take a step into something unfamiliar.

We’re all human and comfort is a pretty nice thing.

However, at some point it’s likely that we’ll realize that remaining comfortable means we’re no longer growing. We’re likely to feel some gnawing in our stomach to experience or do something more. But it’ll require that we get out of our comfort zone and step out into the growth (or courage) zone in order to make it happen.

The good news is that it CAN be done! And here are a few easy tips to help you do just that while being gentle with yourself.

Write Down The Things You’re Afraid Of

Fear is probably the greatest thing that keeps us clinging to our comfort zone.

No one wants to feel afraid. No one wants to do something scary. And no one wants to admit that they feel like a wimp (or maybe that’s just me — nothing against wimphood — I’ve spent a lot of my life there).

But sitting down to make a list of your fears will help you to take a look at those fears in the light of day.

You see, here’s something about fear…it seems to grow in darkness.

Just like when we were kids and may have been afraid of the dark or of the monsters under the bed or in the closet, there’s something about darkness that makes everything feel bigger and more frightening.

But shining a light on fear helps us recognize it for what it is and to begin to overcome it.

Getting this list down on paper is a good first step to critically examining the things we’re afraid of so that we can ask ourselves some questions:

• Is this fear really as terrible as I’ve imagined it to be?
• What’s the worst that can happen if I face this fear?
• Is this fear MY fear…or one that others have “encouraged” me to have?

Sometimes the cold light of day (or a written list) helps us determine that taking a step and doing something that may seem scary isn’t something that will have horrible consequences for us. As long as life and limb aren’t at risk, most things aren’t as bad as we’ve imagined them to be.

Even embarrassment! Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is something that is often on people’s list of things they’re afraid of. So if it’s on yours, know that you’re in good company.

Get Up Close And Personal With Your Feelings

So now that you’ve make a list of your fears, let’s start thinking about the feelings those fears bring out.

A frequent fear is the worry about being embarrassed or humiliated.

But here’s something I have learned the hard way about embarrassment…most people really do not spend that much time thinking about you. They’ve got their own lives, problems, and issues to deal with. Spending time fretting about and delighting in something you did that you think might be embarrassing often never even hits their radar.

And so what if it did? My motto has become “they can’t kill me” and since they can’t, why am I holing myself back over some imagined party of a bunch of people sitting around gossiping about or running me down.

Frankly, if they’ve got that kind of time and nothing better to talk about then that’s a pretty sad statement about them.

Me…I’ve got other things to do.

And so do you.

Other Feelings That May Arise

But embarrassment isn’t the only fear you may find yourself facing.

It’s not uncommon for us to worry that we don’t have the skills or talent to do something. We worry that we’re not smart enough or that we won’t be able to figure something out.

To that my response is this…haven’t you learned things in the past?

Most of us underestimate our abilities and overestimate our deficits.

Especially women!

Let’s be honest…if you’re a “certain age” then it’s likely you grew up getting messages like these:

• It’s not nice to think so highly of yourself
• Don’t say that about yourself…it’s conceited!
• Other people know better than you do
• People don’t like know-it-alls

And the result is that many of us have downplayed our abilities and hidden our talents…all in the name of being thought of as good girls and fitting in.

I’m at a definite point where I’m tired of being defined by other people! If I don’t act on my skills and talents and undertake new (and possibly scary) things now…when will I ever do it?

Another point to keep in mind is that often we prefer to NOT face our fears and just go about sticking our head into the sand.

I’ve found that a having one of “those” talks with myself usually helps. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to start having the hard conversations with myself since I know I let ignorant bliss hold me back.

Keep In Mind That Growth Only Comes From Discomfort

You’ve heard about growing pains. And those of us who are parents have seen it with our own kids. As bodies enter a growth phase, there are accompanying physical aches and pains.

The same is true with emotional growth.

I think we’re hardwired to want to avoid discomfort and any kind of pain. But I’ve finally learned that it’s possible for me to reframe my own thinking about discomfort and look at it instead as a clear sign that I’m growing and changing.

Thinking about it this way makes any discomfort more tolerable because I know I’ll be better once I reach the other side.

A big part of life is learning to shift our perspective. I’ve found as someone with a chronic health condition that while I don’t have control over everything, I do have control over my attitude, my thoughts, and my reactions.

I’ll give another very recent example. I recently had a respiratory infection and in the course of my doctor visit he said he wanted to run a scan to check for a pulmonary embolism.

Frankly, those words alone scared the dickens out of me. And I definitely felt anxious, apprehensive, and yes, even afraid.

But as I was sitting waiting my turn for the scan, I kept telling myself that this scan was to help him make a diagnosis and to rule the embolism OUT…which was what he said he expected.

Did I still feel anxious and apprehensive? Yes. But the fear was reduced which really helped.

It we can continue to remind ourselves that a certain amount of discomfort means we’re growing then it’s easier to get through it without giving up and retreating.

Give Yourself Grace…You’re Only Human

Keeping this fact in mind makes it easier to forgive ourselves when we stumble and make mistakes.

But for some reason, we’re slow to give ourselves the same grace and understanding that we’d give a family member or a friend.

Perhaps one of the biggest lessons we learn about getting out of our comfort zones is learning to cut ourselves some slack and be kinder to ourselves.

If getting out of the comfort zone does only that, I’d say it’s a pretty good tradeoff.

Conclusions:

Taking the steps to get out of our comfort zones isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, but it’s definitely worth it.

Just keep reminding yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to feel anxious and uneasy. And also remind yourself that it gets easier the more you do it.

Great things may be waiting for you right within your grasp once you take those first steps. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.

And that may be the hardest lesson of all for us to learn and act upon.

Be sure to check out my favorite books and other things at my Amazon Store.

Originally published at https://tamingfrenzy.com on May 5, 2024.